I don't believe in a lot of things.
I remember when it started.
I thought it sounded smart to write "I believe" in my papers. Believing sounds so valid, so secure, as opposed to an unsure "I think." "I believe that Romeo never sincerely loved Juliet." "I believe that the themes tackled include the loss of innocence." I believe, I believe, I believe.
This went on for some while until my middle-school English teacher told me that I failed as a writer. "I believe" should never be used in papers.
When I stopped writing the words, "I believe," in papers, I stopped saying it altogether in person. In the place of the words "I believe," I started saying "I think." Once I stopped saying the words "I believe" in conversations, I think I also stopped believing. I stopped believing in the silly notions of true love, I stopped believing in miracles, and maybe--just maybe--I even stopped believing in myself.
I'm ready to start believing though. I don't want to live in disbelief.
I think I'm starting to believe in God.
And I think I believe that things will get better.
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