DAY 07: On Zodiac Signs

I am a Pisces. Basically I’m a stinky, wet fish. According to one guy, girls smell like “fish markets.” Take both comments as you will.

According to one sketchy site, Pisceans “possess a gentle, patient, malleable nature.” This is pretty off-topic, but I didn’t even know “Pisceans” was an actual word until today; spell-check isn’t catching it though, so it must be.

Anyhow, the things the site goes on to say basically ascertain how amazing I most definitely am. But then I realize the site’s playing the “good cop, bad cop” role because it suddenly starts establishing that the stars have proven that I have issues. They even somehow foretell my future employment (apparently I would fail as a leader) and ailments (heavy periods and, what the…lameness?).

Basically, I’m a pushover. Who also doesn’t take initiative and attempts to solve the problems of others before their own. Oh! And I also seem to “sometimes exist emotionally rather than rationally, instinctively more than intellectually.”

But it’s ok. They acknowledge that I am “remarkably creative.”

Something else I found funny:
“They are sexually delicate, in the extreme almost asexual, and most Pisceans would want a relationship in which the partner’s mind and spirit rather than the body resonated with their own. Unfortunately they can be easily misled by a lover who courts them delicately and in marriage makes them unhappy by a coarser sexuality than they expected.”

I think most people know that I’m one of the most open people when it comes to discussing the topic of sex. But it’s like the person who wrote this “garbage” tore past my façade and sees the idealistic, sappy me inside who likes the idea of courtship and Prince Charmings as opposed to crude, uninhibited passion. Shit.

If you want to read exactly what it said because this site (with its cheap graphics, childish wallpaper, and fail HTML skills) is pretty legit: http://www.astrology-online.com/pisces.htm

But I admit—I actually sometimes take this horoscope stuff seriously. I love grabbing the school newspaper only to read my daily horoscope (under the pretense that it’s for the Sudoku). I’ve even bought a book on horoscopes at Barnes & Noble before (all while avoiding eye contact with the cashier). I guess I am as irrational as they say. If my horoscope said I would meet my true love at a dingy alley in downtown Baltimore tomorrow, I think I’d be tempted to take a chance.

Oh, and another thing. If you want to know if you have “love compatibility” with me, here is another sketchy site to satisfy your curiosities: http://www.gotohoroscope.com/pisces-compatibility.html