Infomercial's and Schnauzer's

I decided to go to school in disguise today. I knew I couldn’t use the rain as an excuse to miss school any longer, and I figured that going to school disguised as another me would perhaps make me feel more inclined to trudge through an unrelenting rain. I threw on a gray, oversized sweater, tortoise eyeglasses, and a pair of over-the-top kicks. Then I ran my fingers through my hair (as I attempted to tame flyaways) for that “sexy,” messy bed hair look gone awry. To complete the look, I didn’t wear makeup. Of course, it was a risky strategy—but it was one that I was willing to take. I wanted guys to get that raw feel of what I would really look like if I woke up in bed next to them, with the face I had worn yesterday caked off onto the pillows (but that reminds me: Urban Decay sells a makeup product that helps your makeup hold through sex, sweat, and overnight…helping men stay ignorant until the firstborn child). Since the disguise took me a total of five minutes, that left me 45 minutes—45 minutes spent watching infomercials on hair products rather than trying to salvage my look.

I might be the only person in the U.S. who considers infomercials “good T.V.”

It was a cold cold cold day, and I couldn’t help entertaining myself by exhaling mini clouds that shrouded my glasses and temporarily kept my face warm. When I finally reached the bus stop, feeling coy and cold in my disguise, I happened to lock eyes with the saddest looking creature in my life. Wearing nothing but a light sweater and jeans, he stood soaked with matted, wet hair and glasses covered with rain. He reminded me of a wet Schnauzer. He swiftly looked away as the situation quickly started to reek of awkwardness. The kid looked so damn miserable that I let him stand under my umbrella (ella ella ay ay ay?). The bus didn’t come for another ten minutes or so, so I was glad I was there.

For a rainy day, it wasn’t all that bad.

On a different note: I thought the idea of guy masturbating in a lonely room was a sad image in and of itself, but urbandictionary.com brought me close to tears with one of their more recent spins on the word.
Masturdating: Going out alone. I.e. seeing a movie by yourself, going to a restaurant alone.

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It’s always uncannily strange when rain falls onto an open face. One can’t tell if it’s the onset of tears, a mere coincidence when water graces cheeks with soft recognition, or both.